I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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