I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
