i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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