I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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