hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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