I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize