fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
