I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
