yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
