Dignity is for republicans.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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