sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
