Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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