so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
COCAINE IS GR8
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