Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just found puke in my bra..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
