Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
