Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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