can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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