he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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