Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Someone came in the potted fern
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My bed smells like the plague
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
