At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
