we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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