Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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