why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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