why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
