beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
be right there i have to get my cape
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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