it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Alive.
So much puke
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
