Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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