I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize