hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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