living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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