i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
