Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
