I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
