ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
