Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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