Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
