Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
