Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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