every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
