You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
