so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
how drunk are you?
Several
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
