isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she smelled like a LAN party
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
