I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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