So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
