"it" just moved
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How naked do you want me to be?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
