we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
