My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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