She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
