and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
