I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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