Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people