just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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