No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize