and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!