wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.