Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize