the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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