I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
