I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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