hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
