He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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