If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
