nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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