At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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