god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
