i just google imaged poop.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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