I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
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The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
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wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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