dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
