the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize